Tag Archive: understand

hear to listen

i just had an epiphany.


from PBT (Paper Based TOEFL) to iBT (Internet Based TOEFL), to IELTS, one section stays the same, which is the listening section.


and it magically popped up in my head, the reason why.


ready to be blown away?




we need to understand by listening to the speakers.




you might react anticlimactically to the answer, but bear with me for some moments.


the idea of human beings’ communication is to deliver news. to get the news, we ought to posses one special ability called understanding. because without it, we are aware of the presence of the news but we can neither process nor deliver to others if we don’t grasp it by heart.


the implication to our daily life is how often we hear people talking, rather than to understand, we listen to reply when probably the odds are, it doesn’t even need any reply more than ‘OK’.


somehow i know why people tend to rush to reply.

one, to pretend that we know about the matter while in fact we don’t.

two, while pretending that we know about the subject, it kinda spreads superiority aura. nobody wants to mess with the alpha, right?

three, the superiority aura is a shield so we are not one to blame, eventhough we actually are in the wrong side.


so the conclusion is, it really is a self-defense of being clueless – or just a sign that you really are an annoying know-it-all.


oh God knows that i’m dealing with one know-it-all, it drives me insane.


bottom line is, we have a pair of ears not for nothing. it’s best to use them before operating your mouth, otherwise, you’d be forced to hear people yell and break your eardrums.


peace out!




big of a deal

something happened today had me thinking quite long.


back then when i was teenager, i used to bother myself with “why friends my age are making big of a deal about boyfriend/girlfriend?”


i used to be so irritated whenever they were so clingy and too dependable to their partner. i used to think that romantic relationship wasn’t crucial – at that time.


and now i see why.


it’s all about what we know and what we don’t know.


our knowledge affects our opinion and point of view.

this fact is a thing people tend to ignore in having communication with each other. we so often listen to reply, instead of doing so to understand.


in my previous experience, i did admit that i didn’t have that many relationships which perhaps lead me into throwing cynical and skeptical opinions. even worse, i refused to try to apprehend their explanations. this had me going nowhere but selfishness.


what happened to me today was nothing near romantic relationship. it’s actually about this ginormous test i’m taking in couple weeks which will determine my competence of being a real dentist; and about a friend leaving to study abroad in early September.

another close friend suggested to meet up right around when my test will be held. i proposed, that if somehow i can’t make it, they can meet first and leave me since that friend won’t have much time either, while i’ll still be able to bid a farewell at the day of the flight.


and i’m quite surprised that my proposal didn’t get a good reception.


i mean, do you know how important this test is to me? for this time, i can not and i will not split my focus in something i can still do later.

you might as well ask what the test is about and how big of a deal it is for me.


that is the next point.

about how big of a deal you put on each of your business.


no matter when, some people would still think that having romantic relationship is less substantial than having good seats in the theater.

or graduating is less significant than having as much experience as possible.

or saving up your salary is less crucial that spending them on books and games.


it’s about how you make big of a deal of something. and make people to listen and try to reason with why you put it above anything else.