Tag Archive: personal


up in the air


i sometimes have this thing with movies.

 

thing like i have urge to watch a particular movie, but i postpone to watch it, for days, or months, even years. and suddenly when i watch it, maybe 2 years late, even 7 years late… the movie actually suits me very well at the moment. like, IF i watched it exactly when it first came out, i wouldn’t have related to the movie as much, and the movie wouldn’t have left any impression for me.

 

that thing happened this afternoon.

 

the movie i watched was Up In The Air (2009).

 

i remember when it first came out as a ‘coming soon’ on a movie magazine, i couldn’t help but excited just because George Clooney and Anna Kendrick were in it. George Clooney had some portion in my brain as Batman and Danny Ocean; while Anna Kendrick as Scott Pilgrim’s sister and – of course – Beca Mitchell; although back then Pitch Perfect might be still a blurry concept.

 

anyway. finally i watched the movie.

 

but i have to talk about something before i can relate to the movie.

 

so, about a week ago i attended this training as a part of my employment as one of young lecturers in my almamater uni. i gotta say that the training was beyond my expectation. unfortunately, half of it was because – in my word – it was a sugarcoated brainwash.

 

i expected that we were supposed to be taught how to be a good – if not great – lecturers by improving our skills in teaching, speaking, planning on the curriculum and mark percentage; or… else.

 

instead, we were forced to do researches as much as we could, because the only parameters to judge if a lecturer is good or not is only through the publications, which also could effect of the uni’s rank. so they thought this would be a win-win solution.

 

deep in my heart, i said a loud: NO.

 

this is not right.

 

being forced is actually a very light diction. i was about to use the word “enslaved”.

 

the way i see it, we were asked to leave any human contact – apart with another researchers – because we need to commit to the research 24/7. what i came up with, pretty sure not one they look forward to. but i couldn’t help it because for 5 days of training, basically that was what they kept repeating. for the first time, it was mind blowing and eye opening. but for the third, fourth, tenth, fifteenth… i was somewhat sick.

 

it’s like slapstick comedy. it’s hilarious at the first time, but repulsive for the next times.

 

as i said, for 5 days of training, they didn’t say anything about maintaining your career with your personal life, as if we didn’t have any. even the women speaker didn’t mention it, not in the slightest.

 

then i just kept this for myself. because maybe, it’s just me who think of it. and i’m basically doomed.

 

it’s when Up In The Air showed up.

 

Natalie Keener, the one Anna Kendrick portrayed, got dumped by his boyfriend in the middle of the movie. then, she said:

 

“Sometimes it feels like, no matter how much success I have, it’s not gonna matter until I find the right guy.”

 

OMG, I’M NOT ALONE.

 

people who wrote that script, that exact lines… get me.

 

7 years ago, when i just got in uni, i wouldn’t have understood what that means.

 

now. it goes right to the feels, bro.

 

what i’m trying to point is not the “right guy” part.

 

i’m actually aiming for “personal life” part.

 

even the most personal business in someone’s life needs companion.

 

perhaps, in training i didn’t get that from any of the speakers. perhaps it’s because they happen to already have spouses who are right, so they can understand their work, how much they’re demanded, and how they can compromise with each others’ conditions.

 

and i guess, because it’s so personal, we can not equalize every lives, can we?

 

you know, may be i just needed assurance. i just needed other people to say it, to agree with me, that it’s still important to have personal life.

 

why do i think that having personal life is so fundamental, if you ask?

 

well.

 

humans were created with hearts for a purpose.

 

being personal is the only chance we have to fully use our hearts.

 

we’re nothing different with robots if we don’t use our hearts.

 

well. i think i ended this post quite nicely. not bad after quite some time i didn’t write, lol.

 

-aga-

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i know you miss me #wink #lol


hahahaha just kidding. i don’t even know how many of you that actually continuously read my post here in this blog. however, i realize that it’s been wa~~~y too long since the last time i wrote any post. writer’s block? hmm more like writer’s laziness lol.

 

if you ask what i’ve been up to, i’m going to answer with:

preparing the next step of my life.

 

for a couple of months ago, i’ve been completing the required documents for the study i’m going to enroll. it’s my dream to be able to continue in oral medicine specialty, although for a large number of people, my dream is such a big question of WHY.

 

i gotta admit that oral medicine isn’t the easiest branch of dentistry. there are  a lot of memorizing, and much more of understanding. in some way when performing this discipline, we act more like a detective than like a dentist itself. and i guess it’s one of the reasons why i’m attracted to oral medicine. the quest of diagnosing the underlying disease, the i-want-to-know-more-and-more attitude, and the realization that there are indefinite diseases out there, all make me feel challenged. i’m hungry to know more.

 

it seems too ambitious, but i feel like i have to put a relatively high target. i don’t know if you have the same experience or not, but even Albert Einstein stated:

The more I learn, the more I realize how much I don’t know.

 

and right now, i still don’t know a lot of things. that only means one thing: i must learn more.

 

there’s this joke between my friends and me. if you can not be skinny, make other people fatter.

 

first time i heard this joke, i was mindblown.

 

i honestly never thought of that before. it’s similar like if you want to be tall, you can exercise to make yourself tall or wear 10-inch heels; or you hang around people shorter than you.

 

BAM!

 

all of this time, i only learn one way to achieve something. if you want it, go get it. not the other way around.

 

however, by that joke earlier, i became aware of how much people actually do the other way around instead. there are some who choose to make others look worse than they are just to be considered (more) superior.

 

i’m so sorry in advance, but in my humblest opinion, you won’t go anywhere with that tactic. so what if your friends are fatter than you, shorter than you, worse than you? it just means that you are just as fat, short, and bad, right?

 

so in conclusion, as much as it is not wrong, i can not agree with it, let it forever be just a joke.

 

oh, one more thing. i also have been so interested in learning about investments. a senior lend me her 3 books about personal finance and i’m eager to know deeper about it. for a simple reason: i love money and i’d like to see my money grow. muahahahaha

 

i’m still figuring out about the products, though. since i don’t have that much income, i’m still thinking this over and over again. but this doesn’t stop me from learning!!!

 

so, what have you guys been up to? 😉

 

-aga-