Tag Archive: marriage


simple?


what i’m about to write is probably rather controversial, because it’s pure coming from my own thought. and this thought has bothered me quite long enough it’s driving me nuts.

 

i feel like slapping those who said that marriage is a simple thing. if i could have any chances, i would. repeatedly.

 

marriage is nowhere near simple. a man can say that he’s eligible enough to take a girl’s hand in marriage, but guess what, it’s not only his opinion whether he’s eligible or not.

 

assumption without recognition is nothing but narcissism.

 

where do we get the recognition? at least from both family to be joined by the marriage.

 

the thing is, it might not be earned in the very short period.

 

see that relationships take their own roads at their own speeds. i see that we hope one day we will be spending the rest of our lives with the one we love, but the path towards that goal is in fact not only one. even i believe that each one of us has at least one, maybe more paths, although eventually we are heading to the same direction.

 

don’t blame those who change partners so frequently. they might have no clue, yet, as to what they’re looking for as a partner. there might be some talking behind, but as human being, what do we talk about if not about other human being?

 

it’s not really a crime to have some experiences before you settle with the one. yes, there will be broken heart(s). but taken from one of my fav teenager serial, Wizards of Waverly Place, Alex’s mum once said:

i’m not saying that it’s a pleasant kind of feeling. but it’s a worth lesson for life.

 

so, i congratulate you, if you happen to meet the one in the nick of time, and his/her parents instantly approve your marriage without asking for any requirements or anything. and you two are married in a week or maybe two weeks after, even though you say that it’s a simple wedding or such. from the bottom of my heart, i’m happy for you.

 

but i can not take it if you say that every marriage is the same simple thing as you experienced before. you are more than deserve to say such thing if you have married at least ten times and all of them are as simple as your first.

 

like, i say that Cheetos is good cause i’ve had it since i was little, i’ve had it for dozens of times, so i know for sure that it’s good.

 

all i’m saying is there is no disadvantage coming from your experience. and it’s easy being simple, but being simple is not always easy.

 

-aga-

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transition


i’m gonna start this post by letting out a heavy sigh.

 

#SIGH

 

i realize how much my life changes during the past couple years. whenever i went hanging out with friends, we used to talk about things and never went any deeper than it’s denotative meaning. however we don’t do it anymore.

 

for instant, the drama between Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez. when they were still a thing then they broke up, and few moments later Selena decided to have an arabic tattoo on her back which translated to “love yourself first”; we saw it as two different incidences.

but recently, when Selena broke up with Zedd and saying she wouldn’t mind to get back with Bieber, we connected it with why would Selena want Bieber back, what had Bieber done to Selena, what’s the meaning behind Selena’s tattoo, was it something about Bieber, was it as Selena’s proof to Bieber that she’s fine without him, and so on.

i know it’s kinda crazy, but we did it. we did it many times.

 

i think i can blame on the books and movies i’ve been reading and watching. they dissect simple things and give each piece explanation. and thanks to House MD and my fondness to Oral Medicine, i have this habit to look for the underlying disease, the basic cause of what happened to someone.

so when Selena said that she still wanted to get back with Bieber, i blurted out, “i’m suspicious that Selena had Bieber’s name tattooed on her butt, that’s why she still insisted to get back with him.

 

because amazingly, after i know the cause, everything makes sense and i can handle it much better.

this reminds me of one of my bestfriends’ problem. at that time, she seemed so desperate facing her life right after her boyfriend broke up with her. i couldn’t understand why she made such a big deal of it, but right after i guessed abruptly in a joking way but it turned out to be precisely the reason why, i could sympathize more.

 

that’s why as medical practitioners, we don’t just cure the symptoms. you have pain and headache from your impacted third molar, we can carelessly prescribe you an expensive branded analgesic and anti-inflammatory drugs to momentarily relieve your suffer, but no. we are going to say that you need to remove the tooth, otherwise the pain and headache will come back again and again.

 

i had lunch with Sari the other day, she had mushroom baked rice, i had chicken bbq baked rice. and the conversation went like, “so, it’s just a mixture of rice and mushroom and mozzarella cheese on top, then it’s baked in oven?” | “i think the rice has been fried before with some seasoning, salt, pepper, garlic.” | “don’t you think that the mozzarella needs to melt more? it’s gonna be better if it seeps down to the bottom.

couple years ago, we wouldn’t have had this conversation! probably we would have just talked about anything else but how to make the food.

people may not change, but the situation does.

 

i’m in my mid-twenties. last year, i attended – if not mistaken – three wedding parties. this year, i’ve already attended one, and gotten 2 other invitations, and God knows how many more, just this year. and most are from the same batch with me.

 

i think girls my age have similar pressure to prepare when one day we’re married. ideally, after we’re married, we no longer live with our parents, right? so females have somekind of obligation to be able to manage home.

 

this is the part which i often envy my mum. don’t get me wrong. i admire my mum. my mum cooks, cleans, irons, plants, sews, embroiders, saves money, bakes, used to pick up us from school… my mum basically can do everything. and i can not. how can i not envy my mum? lol.

 

day by day, take it that we’re one step closer to eventually build our own family. no matter that you have or haven’t found the one, that you have or haven’t had preparation, that you are or aren’t ready, we’re going to have it. this reminds me of this old post of mine when i had conversation with Standie about how empty-headed we were about the concept of marriage.

 

may be i sound too optimistic. my optimism recently just got Sari and i stranded in a dead-end alley, lol. but i believe that everything we do, go through everyday is a lesson that might be helpful later. we can learn some from books and literature, but some practical learning is just as useful.

 

have a good night, peeps 🙂

 

-aga-