Tag Archive: graduate

screw the title

i’ve been pausing to write for quite some time. and i think just now i realize why.


truthfully, so many times i went home from the clinic i worked for the past 10 months with thoughts and ideas and sentences and when it was the time i sat and opened my laptop…


i was hella lazy to type them.


i made excuses, like, “i’m exhausted“; or “maybe tomorrow“; or “i still need time to gather some more stories“; or the worst of all “what should be the title?”


and tonight. i’m breaking free. i couldn’t care less about the fricking title.


then an epiphany hit me.


not knowing the title, is actually like us living this life.


us here goes to the fresh graduates.

us here goes to the fellow 20s.

us here goes to you who are still figuring out what to do with your life.


the question of the future might come a little late to my class and me. FYI, i went to Dentistry in Universitas Gadjah Mada, Yogyakarta, Indonesia. the path i took was all normal. i didn’t accelerate during Junior or High School. so, that made me 18 year-old when i started Dentistry in 2009. the target the faculty gave to us was to graduate in THREE AND HALF years with FOUR years curriculum. i managed to graduate in THREE years  AND TEN months.


when friends in other faculties were already panicking about jobs – or probably even getting married, at that time, my friends and i basically were focusing on the extra TWO years as co-Assistant  in order to acquire the title drg or dokter gigi or dentist.


all in all, it’s nearly SIX YEARS, our lives had been neatly scheduled. when the sixth year was almost over, we just had that panic attack.




well. i know that i had to get a job. the thing was, i had too many questions that Google couldn’t give me answers.


what kind of job?

where can i get the job?

so that means i don’t get to hang out with my friends again?

what if i did wrong?

what if i didn’t get the diagnosis right?

what if i didn’t know what to do with the patient?

what if i didn’t know how to write the meds prescription?

what if i couldn’t make enough money?

what if

what if

what if


those ‘what ifs’ are thoughts when i was thinking about a title of a post. those ‘what ifs’ are the ones that holding me back from writing. those ‘what ifs’ are undoubtedly necessary to be considered, but to make a great leap, we all need small step first.


what i’m saying is:


it’s always good to have big plans, but don’t let it confine you. don’t let it define you; instead, YOU are the one who is the rightful person to define the title.


improvisation and plot twist are two elements we often see in good shows, moreover the live ones. and guess what? our lives are not recorded shows, so naturally, yeah. at some points we are required to improvise; and at some points there will be plot twist(s). we wouldn’t be able to do so if we don’t keep moving on.


it is hella scary, the whole concept of graduating, finding that one perfect job, moving out, and so on. at least, we still have GoogleMaps if we’re lost in our new place. i can’t imagine what would have happened to Neil Armstrong if he wasn’t that brave discovering the Moon then suddenly he got lost…


well, that’s a motivation for all of us. we are not totally lost, LOL.


in short, i’m not trying to look wiser or anything as if i’ve figured out my life, but for my dear fellows, i really think that you shouldn’t waste everything that’s already in front of you. every small thing is something you can use to compose your own definition to life.

if what you’ve already get is the only thing you have, do your best anyway, while also pursuing what you really want. you have to believe that the Universe will align and you will get what you’ve been dreaming.


anyways. i’m in different place now. fingers crossed, i’m aiming for another title in the next TWO and HALF years to continue my passion as a lecturer. i’m currently enrolling the Oral Medicine Specialty in Universitas Airlangga, Surabaya, which has been my lifelong dream. and i live alone in an 11th-floor studio. and i can not wait to explore ALL of the malls in Surabaya.


let’s start the improv 😉




PS. these people are my classmates. small number, but i hope we can support each other together till the end 🙂



like Zayn Malik who just left One Direction, assuming that he no longer had the same direction with the other four boys, i think i lost mine too.


i’m struggling to finish my dental co-assistant, but i guess for a quite wrong reason. or reasons.


however perhaps i’m not alone in this, because most of us just want to get this over with. most of us are already fed up with the routine, the stress, the pressure, the uncertainty… we all feel those downsides in spite of realizing that actually we are not ready to be let out alone.


i think, all these times, since undergrad, we’ve all been led to the wrong direction.


we’ve all been forced to finish assignments and lab works and tasks, everything, without really knowing what’s it for. we just know that we have to be able to submit those tasks in time and try to get good grade, so that we can enroll next semester’s courses, so that we can graduate, so that we can enter the dental co-assistant, so that we can finally be a dentist.


we are forced to be so focused with the curriculum, the insanely strict rules and whatnot. we – or i – forgot that there are other things we can achieve, enjoy, experience. somehow it’s successfully terrified me, as, if i don’t graduate soon, i’ll be dead.


the fact is: i won’t be.


i’ll just a bit behind my other friends.


by the current education system and the social hierarchy, being left behind becomes one of the ultimate scourge. i don’t say that it’s okay to be left behind. i’m trying to say that if somehow you, or we, are; it’s not the end of the world.


i don’t know about students out there in other countries, but here in mine, it’s such a burden to be asked:

when are you graduating?


couple years ago, i made friend with a German. he came to Indonesia, specifically, Yogyakarta, to study. soon after his study time had finished, he traveled all the way to Bali (or Lombok? i forgot) then Australia first before actually going back to Germany. and earlier this year, he visited India and Nepal, before the earthquake thingy happened.


and i was like, “what.

even when i have semester break, i can’t really feel calm to leave the city too long to really far destination, let alone, to half across the globe. because usually, there will be sudden administration things we need to sort out immediately, and they have no excuse if somehow we missed it.


so, yeah, i was really surprised knowing he can travel all the way round the earth comfortably.


in my opinion, it’s necessary to have one definite direction. but we also need to open up other options. you know, like, we have this ultimate goal and the small ones.

like, coloring the sky blue, but we should also mix it with a little white, perhaps yellow, or gray. for a simple reason: to add more colors.

like, cooking chicken, by marinating it first and probably adding mirepoix. to give more flavors.


i’ve gone bit too far now with only one limited direction.

so, now i’m gonna start expanding my other directions.



bigger choice

i was going to write 180 degree different topic when suddenly this just popped out of nowhere.


well, not exactly nowhere. i knew exactly where.


i was drafting in my mind about the movies and songs and videos i recently fond about and relating them to my activities. i tried to make a fun post, i rarely make one, right?


so there i was, watching ‘Her’ on cable when suddenly the phone rang. i picked it up, turned out it’s one of my grandpa’s brothers – who is actually my grandpa too – asking whether mom and dad were home, telling that he wanted to pay a quick visit.

i said that they were out to some wedding. but my grandpa decided he would come anyway.


he came with the family about 5 minutes later, they did seem so hurried. they came in, we chatted for a bit, but when i was about to make the teas, they refused. saying they needed to rush because they were heading to their home which is still about 4 hours to go.


this grandpa’s home and where he works as ENT doctor/lecturer is in the same city as where i was born – i’m not referring the city as the city where i came from because i get a lot of bias about where i really came from.


last year at the extended family assembly, he pulled me to a corner and asked me about what i had in mind soon after i graduate from dentistry school. i replied with: i’m not sure. i want to have Oral Medicine (Oral Pathology) specialty degree, though.


then he explained that there was a job available at this university he works in, as lecturer, like i always want to be.


as tempting as it sounded, it’s not really the place i ever thought of. for many reasons.


and tonight, just when they were about to go, this grandpa turned to me.

so? you still want to have that degree?

implicitly saying: the job is still available.




everyone seems to have this certain plan for me.

but me.


i can’t manage a three days long holiday.

i don’t even know what my exact plan for tomorrow.

how am i supposed to be sure what i’m going to do after graduation?


they say, the choice you made when you graduated high school is a big one.

guess what’s bigger?


the choice you made when you graduated university.