few months ago as part of my co-assistant training, we were required to visit a teaching hospital which thankfully only 5 minutes away from my Dentistry campus. we learned the medical record system, forensic dentistry, geriatric/internal medicine and oral surgery. this stage took about only a month, but i have to say that that one month was unforgettable.

 

after i’ve done my under-grad, i see this pattern on the students in my campus.

1st years are young, weird and completely nerd looking kind of students with a hint of confusion and rule-obey-er.

2nd years realize that they’re no longer high school students. they started to behave as if they’re grown-ups and dare themselves to take more part in campus activities.

3rd years circulate awfully lot in campus. this is the time when they feel like they own campus. 3rd years tend to act arrogant and rather conceited, as if no one knows their campus better than themselves.

and 4th years are bunch of confused students questioning their final assignments aka thesis, and their fear of entering the co-assistant stage. they started to realize that they are nothing in the campus, that there are so much variables affecting their future that they can not predict, let alone control.

the 1st year co-assistants are full of spirit to finish the requirements. with mostly focus on getting it done.

aaand the 2nd year co-assistants are people with blurry and surreal thoughts about how to finish the requirements with draining spirit, and what they’re going to do soon after being vowed as a dentist.

 

i’m in the last group. which means i have been through all stages hereby i’m allowed to say that…

it’s so easy to feel inferior in this environment.

 

back to my experience during that one month visit in that teaching hospital.

 

i was dumbfounded and i did feel dumb the second i entered the oral surgery department. the resident physicians are brilliant, and i think brilliant is not enough to describe their awesomeness. they are that awesome. whenever i talked to them, i felt like we were on different planets where theirs are filled with creatures that’s 100 times more advance than mine.

i felt like “the heck have i studied for the past 4 years? i can’t remember any.” in return to those feelings, it seemed like i ended up studying much more in those 1 month than in my past 4 years. it’s insane.

 

one day, when i was doing some research in library for my oral surgery report, i met one of the resident, a female one. as i recalled, among those super-awesome residents, she is one of the not-so-awesome ones. however, i greeted her, she greeted back. then we exchanged names, also phone numbers. we talked for some time, quietly, since it’s in library.

she said that she’s trying to finish her study to get the oral surgery specialist title. she asked about my progress. and so on.

 

aaand just today, i met her when she was heading to the prayer’s room. i called her, thankfully she still remembered me.

i told her that i’ve passed oral surgery exam, and i asked about her study. the answer she gave me was not much changed from back then when i was in the teaching hospital. we didn’t talk too long cause i needed to go, but this thought keeps swirling in my head.

 

i remember i told her “i don’t know if i can graduate this August.” and she replied with “the point is just finish off your work. if God allows you to graduate this August, God will give way. i think you know better, you seem more pious than me hahaha

 

well, first of all, i’m nowhere near pious.

second, regardless all i ever babbled, it is okay being a bit behind than my other friends, but i can not help feeling inferior because of this.

 

and as i said before, it is so easy to feel inferior in my environment.

here in my campus, everything is measured. everything is compared.

are you from wealthy family.

are you from dentists family.

are there any family working as lecturers in campus.

are you good-looking.

are you friendly.

are you popular.

are you smart.

are you skilled.

are you ambitious.

are you graduating soon.

hahahahaha

 

wow. come to this point it seems like a hard life i’m living, furthermore if you are none of the above.

 

talking about inferiority, it’s about how to overcome it instead of finding something or someone to blame.

 

first thing first: STOP COMPARING.

compare yourself only to yourself because everyone is special. i know that comparing is inevitable, because ever since we’re little, all people do is compare. we compare our rank in class. we compare whose drawing is better. because we want to prove to someone else that you are better.

now, prove to only yourself that you can be better because you want to. unconsciously, you’ll stop comparing yourself to other people and you can improve yourself.

 

once the inferiority itself is gone, all that’s left is opportunity to keep growing.

 

i know all that is just me talk the talk.

i’m going to walk the walk, immediately.

 

yeeeeaaaa

 

-aga-

Advertisements