i am an insecure person.

i easily get uncomfortable around weird, unknown, rare environment that makes me spin my brain to find any excuse to leave, no matter how unreasonable it is.


the amazing thing is, i also want to make it as natural as possible, as if i actually don’t want to leave.


pretty crazy, huh? hahaha


i’d rather spend my time alone, with my cell phone or laptop or book and pen, accompanied by a bubble milk tea in one corner. cause in my opinion, if i don’t feel comfortable around people, at least i feel comfortable around myself.

then, slowly, learn to feel comfortable around some people.


that’s perhaps why i’m intrigued to small gestures.


i can’t specifically describe the example of “small gesture” cause i think everyone has their own specialty.


Christian Grey finger tap

a finger tap

for you who have watched the movie, you’ll notice it’s taken from which movie hmhmhm *smirk*

apart from the movie itself, i very much felt the girl’s intimidating feeling coming from the guy, exactly at that finger tap scene. i somehow felt the taps were rhyming with my heart beat. i think it’s genius that they shot that gestures.

as for the guy, he put so much interest on girl’s habit biting her lower lip. it’s a small habit, the girl would never realize it tickles someone’s senses, yet the guy’s does.


that’s what i meant by small gestures.


you’ll never know that maybe someone’s instinct to fix your collar would surprise the hell out of you.

you won’t notice that the sound of breath would make you feel so close as ever.

or someone’s rather crooked smile would make your butterflies in your tummy fly around.

or a smirk would unravel your emotions.


well. i guess, before appreciating big things, we must learn to appreciate small things first, huh? 😉