i really am not the person you should ask when it comes to relationships and whatnot. cause, frankly, what do i know?

 

however, i do realize that when it’s about this kind of thing, one head often isn’t enough to bear it. and it’s the nature of us girls that we basically need to talk about everything. whether it’s just to cheer up our bad day with some laughter and gossip, or to solve problems, or – most of the times – to find acknowledgment of decision we already commit to.

 

by no mean to act as if i’m experienced in this kind of thing, lately i’ve been having this thought swirling around my mind. i’ve been wanting to type these up from long time ago, but i need to be extra cautious cause some are not my own life events.

 

as you might already know, there is a pretty huge difference between the words ‘house’ and ‘home’. according to Cambridge Dictionary, house is used to refer to a building. while home is used to describe a more personal and emotional way to refer to where someone lives which is not always a house, could be apartment or just anywhere we feel comfortable and safe.

 

i actually wrote a post about home back then. a bit random , tho, lol.

 

 

in my mind, for the past few years, i guess. i’ve always thought that i’d be living in an apartment. pretty much got influenced by those serials on cable and the novels which the characters mostly lived in an apartment.

like Friends. see how much fun i picture it, living in an apartment? it’s simple.

 

i realize there are some downsides of living in an apartment. but i really can’t find if any of them is a deal breaker of not living in an apartment.

 

although, it’s pretty cool to have a really big house complete with ranch, barn, horses to ride, and also pool. kind of like country houses.

 

nevertheless, what’s really the point of having not only house but also home? why is it some kind of racism to differ house from home?

 

in my opinion, it’s because at some point we all want to go away, as far as we can be, from the place we came from, but eventually we are having one same desire to come home.

 

and what makes a house become home, again, in my opinion, is the people who live in it. people you can call as ‘family’.

 

i never quite get the feeling of coming home. i often question why my friends who lives out of town get so excited when we have some days off and they rush to find any way to go home. in my mind, it’s too exhausting cause they will spend most times on the trip. however there was one time when i still lived apart from my mum. at that time i was very sick. not the kind of that i had to be admitted to hospital or anything, but enough to make me want to be near my mum. i forced myself to go through an-eight-hour road trip, and amazingly enough, i got better very quickly just by sleeping in my mum’s bed and eating her dish.

 

so i conclude that it really is about the people, about the family, that makes a house become home.

 

when we are young, the only family we have is our nuclear family. whether you are aware or not, sooner or later there will be another families in our lives. friends from the boarding house. some closest friends in college. and pretty soon enough, your own family. then your significant other’s family. and they keep adding up. some stay as family. some change into… not anymore.

 

as i make this personal, i think a home is fundamental because at the end of the day, you want to be sure you have somewhere to crash in, something to fill your tummy, and someone to accompany your night with.

 

i’ve always imagined, if a family has established their existence by having home, there will never be anything wrong going on with them. i mean, what else do you need? by having any place you can call home, you have place to live. you have wife or husband to comfort you.

 

i guess for a person who calls others naive even moron for many times, i am more naive than that.

 

the fact is, people fight. they separate. eventually they get divorced.

 

apparently, the presence and existence of a ‘home’ is not always enough to keep family together, to maintain the only thing, that i can think of, that makes house become home.

 

so really the focus is about building the family itself.

 

one downside i recently found from being too involved in the world of science is that everything has to have explanation. even in falling  in love, gosh you know what they say about it, about the hormones and everything. BBC Science wrote it here. you can find every explanation on Google nowadays, right?

 

what i couldn’t Google up is “who is my significant other“, “when will i find my significant other“, “when will i get married“.

 

yeah i know there’s this application on Facebook which tells you when you’ll get married, but come on, you know that’s just some joke. you will never really know.

 

what i learn is that, family is not about chemistry. it’s more about the hard work to understand, tolerate and accept. as much cynical as that sounds, it’s true.

 

nobody is perfect. that is one.

people don’t change. that is two.

 

sadly enough, our imperfection, things what we can not change, are sum up of what we receive from our environment since we were kids. that means: since we were in our nuclear family.

 

with all of that imperfections, it’s quite amazing to know that God have assigned us one (true) significant other. and the journey to find that one… begins.

 

honestly, i don’t know much. i haven’t had my own family. yet. soon, i hope. uhm, but, since this kind of thing can’t be explained by theorem or proved by formula, i think you’re gonna need much of your sense. you’re gonna try to trust your feeling. you’re gonna learn by doing.

 

it might not stick on the first try, i know i didn’t. not everything is fairytale.

 

but i hope you’ll know when it’s the time. when it’s the moment. to let other in, to let you out. to give and get. to fill and be filled. to reciprocate. to come home.

 

guess not only tango which needs two, huh?

 

-aga-

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