i was going to write 180 degree different topic when suddenly this just popped out of nowhere.

 

well, not exactly nowhere. i knew exactly where.

 

i was drafting in my mind about the movies and songs and videos i recently fond about and relating them to my activities. i tried to make a fun post, i rarely make one, right?

 

so there i was, watching ‘Her’ on cable when suddenly the phone rang. i picked it up, turned out it’s one of my grandpa’s brothers – who is actually my grandpa too – asking whether mom and dad were home, telling that he wanted to pay a quick visit.

i said that they were out to some wedding. but my grandpa decided he would come anyway.

 

he came with the family about 5 minutes later, they did seem so hurried. they came in, we chatted for a bit, but when i was about to make the teas, they refused. saying they needed to rush because they were heading to their home which is still about 4 hours to go.

 

this grandpa’s home and where he works as ENT doctor/lecturer is in the same city as where i was born – i’m not referring the city as the city where i came from because i get a lot of bias about where i really came from.

 

last year at the extended family assembly, he pulled me to a corner and asked me about what i had in mind soon after i graduate from dentistry school. i replied with: i’m not sure. i want to have Oral Medicine (Oral Pathology) specialty degree, though.

 

then he explained that there was a job available at this university he works in, as lecturer, like i always want to be.

 

as tempting as it sounded, it’s not really the place i ever thought of. for many reasons.

 

and tonight, just when they were about to go, this grandpa turned to me.

so? you still want to have that degree?

implicitly saying: the job is still available.

 

***

 

everyone seems to have this certain plan for me.

but me.

 

i can’t manage a three days long holiday.

i don’t even know what my exact plan for tomorrow.

how am i supposed to be sure what i’m going to do after graduation?

 

they say, the choice you made when you graduated high school is a big one.

guess what’s bigger?

 

the choice you made when you graduated university.

 

-aga-

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