most of my post is based on what i experienced, what happened to my life. so basically, when nothing happened, i can’t write anything, lol.


however, in some cases a lot of things happened but i can’t really write them due to personal issue. but in this case, i think i really should turn them into words.


i became more aware of myself that i’m no longer in a ‘young’ category. well, i always have the rights to say to live wild, young and free. however, in all bitterness, 23 years old is nowhere near young.


from what i understand – this requires correction if it turns out to be wrong – American family consider 18 years old as threshold from young to adult. 18 is the age when you are no longer your parents’ responsibility cause you are your own person. basically, what you do when you’re 18 years old onwards is all your business.


looking at myself now, i’m fricking 23 years old, still draining my parents’ money to finish my study, no other incomes other than from both of my parents.


a good friend of mine, Chloe, she lives in the fancy UK. she was born in 1993, and she just graduated about a month ago and now looking for jobs. she was 2 years younger than me. and already looking for jobs.


what does that make me?


that makes me think of what i should be doing, what i will be doing.


there are actually only 2 things people ask to you when you reach certain age, like when you’re in your 20s.

a) how’s your work?

b) when will you get married?


i realize this is not a permanent pattern, depends on your culture and environment. but here where i live, those two questions are like the trending topic, and for those who really haven’t got the answer, being asked those questions makes this heavy boots, uneasy feeling on your stomach, and sudden urge to punch the person who ask it.


both work and marriage have one similarity: compromise.


to have stable life, we need money, which we get from working our asses off. i heard from many people that their current job is actually not even close to their passion. because if they keep looking jobs equivalent to their passion, they would probably end up homeless and crazy. here they need to compromise their idealistic goal to something more essential: survive. whatever it takes for them to make a living.


hereby i congratulate those of you who have found suitable jobs which you’re so passionate about yet still gives you good income.


one person that suits in that category probably is one of my favourite Youtuber/vlogger: Anna Akana. she did say something about compromise in one of her vlog about almost couple years ago – compromising your relationship.


although now Anna is not with Ray anymore, that doesn’t diminish her point about maintaining relationship. it does need a lot of work and, yes, it’s all about compromise.


one of my friend – i will not say who the person is, so let’s say the name is Caroline – has this long distance relationship with a man who already has job and the man is totally serious to her, like, someday sooner or later, he wants to marry her. i’m not really sure how they communicate, or how deep they love each other, but Caroline constantly whines about how he doesn’t care that much about her. but when he didn’t text her, she got really upset. this sorta confused me, really.


one day, i heard form other friend, that Caroline’s relationship is on a brink of destruction. it’s because Caroline thought that he doesn’t give his time for her as much as she does to him. she thought that both of them are crazy busy but she still spares her time for him, but even he forgot her birthday.


first of all, for all males in the world, forgetting birthday of someone you really love, is fatal.

it’s if you really care and love her. if you don’t, well… that’s different matter.


second of all, here is where our ‘compromise’ being tested. to love and be loved are somewhat amazing, thanks to all of the hormones responsible. but then again, back to the stable life need. it’s hard enough to fulfill your OWN needs. for men, they have to fulfill his FAMILY’S needs. started from his wife, then their first child, second child, probably third child, his parents, his parents in law, his siblings…


as friends, we already tried so dang hard to convince Caroline that she shouldn’t make a big of that ‘problem’. his busy might be different with her busy. but she keeps being stubborn by replying that no matter how busy he is he should have remembered her birthday, he should have had more time for her.


it’s not that we don’t respect Caroline’s decision, but again, in our 20s, 23 or 24 or even 25 years old, we are no longer young. and like it or not, to marry and have family are necessary to think about very carefully. it’s time to understand the difference between being idealist and stubborn.


to be idealist, they have been through so many arguments – win or lose – and those build the particular view the idealist hold tight. but stubborn have this unchangeable opinion in their head irregardless how good others defy it.


in my opinion, you don’t want to be stubborn. nobody wants it. i don’t want it.

to have principle is one thing. just keep it rational, simple and clear.

unreasonable reason is what you call stubborn.