it’s so silly how i constantly think to take my life away. it’s stupid, i fully aware, i KNOW.

 

you know what other things that i KNOW, i fully aware of? that i will NEVER be perfect. i CAN NOT be perfect. i CAN NOT satisfy every people. i am capable of making mistakes. i am not smart. i’m not trying to be perfect.

 

and it’s really… hurtful that there are people that are always expecting us, me, to be perfect. to say the right thing. to act like what they expect to be. to get everything THEY want as if i can get them in a snap just because i say it’s what THEY want.

 

newsflash: the world doesn’t revolve around you.

 

other newsflash: human being is human being because human being is not God that is able to know everything exactly, precisely. i am human being, ergo, i will NEVER know everything precisely. how will i know that i will not be contracted by HIV tomorrow? i can try not to, but i will never know.

 

if you seek absolute, this is not the world for it.

 

might sound ungrateful but i don’t want to be smart. being smart makes you look down every other people. being smart makes you an inhumane human being. what’s the point of being born becoming human being if you can not act like one.

 

gaaah my thoughts are somewhat nonsense. i guess that’s what moron does. being stupid, thinking useless, and acting suicidal.

 

-aga-

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