when people say that long distance relationship sucks, first thing that pops up in my mind:

bah, they only exaggerate it.
how hard can it be?

even though Drew Barrymore and Justin Long in movie Going the Distance – more or less – proved how torturing long distance was, i still keep repeating the same lines.

they only exaggerate it – for the sake of the drama.
how hard can it really be?

through ‘denial’ phase, i kinda had my ‘anger’ moment when it was time to say goodbye. ‘bargaining’ was (is) when in some nights i cut my sleeping hours to stay awake to chat or call and make sure everything is okay. i’m not sure whether i had been in ‘depression’ phase, but i guess i was there once in a while everytime i pass places we’re familiar with and i wasn’t there with the person i wanted to be with. nevertheless this phase amazingly so quick to change into ‘acceptance’ that i realize we – i – have to live this through.

and weirdly enough, each person has different ways to accept this condition. some accept it in romantic way, like having wake up call and good night (virtual) hugs everyday. some accept it in silent way, like constantly mentioning the name they’re yearning in prayers. and even some accept it in overreactive way, like public display affection on social media with “i miss you, hurry back home @thepersonyoumiss. hugs and kisses”.

i don’t know but i like to tease and taunt a lot. i somehow turn almost every heavy emotional loads into jokes and hahaha. cause i feel like it’s easier that way. i’m not good in expressing how i feel unless it’s in extreme state. i either burst into laugh, or smash things when i got angry – no, i don’t actually smash things, or cry away the tears alongside with the emotions known to human beings.

in movies, usually people spend their last time before the big goodbye with all night chit chat and reminiscing the moments they’ve shared, they talk and talk and talk… also when they finally meet up after few times separated, they are like pouring all words in dictionary to make up the lost times when they weren’t together.

first time i met him after some time away, believe it or not, i made a joke like “er… do i know you?” then laughed. i don’t know if other people do the same things or not. and i don’t know either if i’m going to repeat this next time we meet again. why? it’s easier this way and more practical rather than shyly stand next to each other while whispering “how are you? i miss you too much” blah blah blah.

i also thought that we’d have intense conversation, again, to make up the times we weren’t able to meet. yeah the thing is, although movies are based on reality, movies have been dramatized. the fact was just being able to spend some times together, even in silence… pretty much enough. cause sometimes word is not the medium to picture one special moment.

as i realize that the meeting wasn’t going to last very long, so was the goodbye moment, i felt like it wasn’t that… sad and tragic. i felt like i could accept this way better rather than when i had long(er) goodbye moment. shorter goodbye moment gave no time to feel separated.

although, right after that, the paused event started to be played again and as if it was being fast forwarded to make me realize about the distance, about the struggle, that we need to work on together again.

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approximately 308 km away. until next time, yes? :’)

see you 🙂

-aga-

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