just because you stay long enough at a place, doesn’t mean that you will love everything in that place.


it just makes you realize all the good and bad things going on.


i have been working for several years as 3 different lab work assistant. two of them belong in the same department. i used to ‘worship’ the department. i thought the department was perfect. someday, i wanted to be a lecturer in the same department too.


as time went by, i saw almost everything and what i saw wasn’t good. in fact, it disgusted me. being too long involved in that department ruined my mindset. although, there are some things to learn from being drown in such shitty situations.


i learn to know when it’s time to acknowledge that you have to surrender. when you have to admit your defeat, willingly. i find this important in life. cause there will be no winner if there is no loser. this fact is bitter, but it’s the logic.


no black without white.

no love without hate.

no right without wrong.

no yes without no.


another trivia: nobody wants to be a loser.

but eventually, we must lower ourselves when the time comes. when?

when all of the cards in our hands can no longer combine to at least be a pair.

when we’ve run out of ammo in battle.

when there is nothing else we can do but surrender.


surrender means we are lost, yes at some certain points, we can not deny that.

but surrender also means we know our capability at that time isn’t enough. yet.


being lost at a war might sound terrible.

but not everything is war.