been quite awhile since the last post.

been quite busy with this “heart wrenching thing” -___-

i’m gonna put Bae Chi Gi feat. Ailee – Shower of Tears on.


i have no idea how i’ve become this close to K-music since all i watch is half an hour program on ArirangTV called Pops in Seoul every evening and listen to two hours midnight radio broadcast on ArirangRadio called Hot Beat. made couple friends on Hot Beat’s message board, tho 😀


anyway, things been going pretty rough. i guess i’m entering the lowest phase in my life. you know, like the metaphor. “life is like a wheel”, you’re gonna have both up and down moments.


had my up moments couple weeks ago. then i’m thrown to what it seems like the endless-ish ravine.


what makes it worse is i gotta face it. sometimes i feel like it’s better if i commit suicide -__-


once Demi Lovato said on her Twitter – although then deleted it, “Completely and utterly disgusted at the absolute lack of any privacy or respect whatsoever in this world today. None. So disappointed. Artists don’t owe anyone ANYTHING. We choose to be open and honest in our music with others..”


i’m no artist, just a girl, struggling against suck hierarchy, bureaucracy and social ladder just to survive and basically get what i need and want. but hey, i gotta agree with Demi Lovato.


like if you wanna get to know a person more, then get to know that person sincerely. with some talks. heart to heart. such things people tend to forget these days.


if you prefer to know a particular person silently, like only on their blogs and the results don’t suit your thinking, you basically have no rights to complain. two reasons:

a. that might be the person’s real trait

b. you can’t change people


i know, who doesn’t want to be perfect? like Doctor Jessica Adams in House MD, perhaps. she’s pretty. she’s kind. she’s smart. she’s rich. she had everything.

you know something else i learn from House MD?




we all have 2 sides. Good and Bad. Jekyll and Hyde.

not everyone is only good, nor only bad.

though lately, i’ve been thinking that there’s really no use of being a good person.

ah, back to the topic.


a person is who that person is, with all good and bad qualities within.

we can NOT change those qualities.

we might bend those a little, but trust me, it ain’t easy. like forging steel into super quality sword.


BtoB on Weekly Idol - 1

BtoB on Weekly Idol – 1

BtoB on Weekly Idol - 2

BtoB on Weekly Idol – 2

BtoB on Weekly Idol - 3

BtoB on Weekly Idol – 3


i do believe i’ve been into K-music too deep and i can’t go back -_- ah whatever, i like some anyway.


so, yeah.

NOBODY is perfect.

i know i am not.

and i’m not going to pursue on being perfect. whose ‘perfect’ standard?

society’s standard?

society’s standard is overrated. they will never be satisfied. even if you’re doing right, there will always be at least one who thinks you’re wrong.

i think i’m done fulfilling society’s standard. take it or leave it, dude. i’m not playing something with no clear objectives.